What Have You Done ?

"What have You done ? 

Stripped me of my dreams

I have become so lost, 

Ever since I found you.

Every day seems one step closer, 

To walk into your world  

I simply wait for the day, 

When time will find me within you. 

Your love is blazing fire, 

 Withstanding the thundering rain 

I am soaked head to toe,

Why do I smile for more ?  

What can a heartache be,

Laced in your divine love ?

What does pain remain to be, 

For the one laying at your feet ? 

Tears flow when everything fails,

But your light makes it's way

Through the darkness of the night,

And you appear as a new dawn again.

I am the ship in Your waters,

Afloat or drowned 

Let the storm come, 

Why would I care ?

From all the stars in the sky,

I fall into your arms   

It's the truth I know,  

I'll never be born again."

That Silly Smile

Voice : Why you smiling ? 

Me : Just.. 

Voice : Because the tea is good ?   

Me : Because You are so good ! 

Voice : Me ? 

Me : Yes. You are reason I simply break into a silly smile, freeze in the moment or even wipe a joyous tear. It's like I feel You constantly and it's strange because I know I don't take any efforts to think about You !

Voice : Perhaps, that itself is the reason.

Me : That I don't try to think of you ??   

Voice : That's what you think, but not what you feel. 

Me : Enlighten me..

Voice : Very soon, My son. Very soon.    

Me : Haha 

Voice : You are living with subtle awareness of Me. It's like your mind is functioning in the world, but your heart is in Me. You exert no force to think of Me and your mind is helpless to believe you are unconscious of Me. But, in the background of your being, your awareness of Me is constant. Because it is so effortless and seemingly faint, your mind cannot capture this experience. 

In the silence of your heart, in the subtle vibration of your being, there is everlasting and strong presence of Me. It is manifestation of Me being with you where you transcend the outward coercion of rememberance of Me. 

Me : Oh 

Voice : You need to remember God only if you have forgotten Him. How is it possible to forget God ? God is Love. Love is a state of being. Can you really forget the state of your own being ? Does one really need a reason to remember his own being ? You smile, weep and become silent without reason because Love needs no reason. You are in touch with who you are.  

In a spontaneous moment, at any place you can feel My presence which is effortless. There is no calling, there is no asking, there is no searching and there is no attempt to bring me in the forefront of your consciousness. It is your strong knowing, that I do not need to be called because you know I am never absent from you.  

The feeling in your heart is Me. It is subtle so you can live in the world. It is so beautifully subtle that sometimes you are unaware of your own consciousness in God. 

Me : Never thought of it this way..

Voice : It is something like this ...suppose you are an actor and you are shooting for an intense scene. You know the camera is rolling, but you are aware of it only in the recess of your mind while you are intensely focused on acting out your part for the scene. You know of the camera and you are shooting in front of it, yet it's not taking your direct attention.    

Me : Yes 

Voice : In the same way I am that camera in your existence. Your awareness of Me may not be in the forefront of your consciousness but it's embedded deeply within you. You don't need to remember Me. You have simply become a frequency of Love so you feel Me continually.    

Me : Hmm

Voice : Love in the heart of man is God manifest. It is a state of being. How wonderful is it to feel love without reason ? I have switched on your heart long time ago. 

Me : You have put it so simply.

Voice : When you feel love, you become love. This is your being. And who you are every moment in your heart is more defining than drifting thoughts in your mind.   

Me : Thank you so much for opening up my heart and my mind. It is all so divinely muted in a way.. 

Voice :  Like a sweet fragrance that lingers on. Even if you are unaware of it, those around you will pick up the alluring scent. That is God's Love.  

You are not living in My rememberance. You live in the heightened awareness of the embodiment of who I am....Love. 

Even if one may not know of Me, but one feels and lives this Love, they are very close to Me.  

Really Have It All ?

Me : I have so much.

Voice : Really ? 

Me : What you mean really ? I have everything I ever wanted in life. You gave me so much. I have everything ..

Voice : You need to give that a deeper thought. True value of what you 'have' can only be attained when you give it away. 

Me : Aah.....let me take a minute to absorb that one. 

Voice : You can only really have when it's flowing out of you to others. You think you have so much because you have earned it and are living with it ? Your measure of 'having' needs to be re-examined. Everything is zero in value, unless you have given it. 

It will be hard for many to comprehend this but only the moment you part with something to others, you actually have it. If it is kept to yourself, no matter how many possessions, riches or knowledge you may possess you remain in poverty. 

Richness of the heart is true wealth. And this richness comes from giving. Without this you have nothing.  

   

Me : Wow

Voice : You give because you have. You have because you give.   

Me : There is nobody who would be unable to give..

Voice : Every soul has the wealth of life in them. There is none who cannot give in his own way. 

When you offer hope to the defeated, courage to a drooping heart, love to people in despair, your time to a lonely person, smile to a stranger, spiritual strength to the lost..you are giving. 

 

That is how you gain anything valuable in your life...by giving, not by trying to search, possess or holding on to it.

Everyone wants love, but few find it..you know why ? 

Me : Tell me.. 

Voice : Because they want it. 

Me : So must we not want it, to get it ? 

Voice : You don't receive love by wanting it, you receive love by giving it first. This little awareness brings everything to you. You draw things to you in your state of completeness, not needy-ness.  

Me : Hmm

Me : How does one know how much of ourselves to give  ?  

Voice : How much of yourself do you want to preserve and protect ?    

Me : Sometimes it hard to....  

Voice : That can be hard if you think you are the one who is giving. Living with constant divine awareness will loosen the grip of the falseness and you will be free from fear, attachment or pride of what you have and will be able to spontaneously and effortlessly give. What a joyful life that will be for you ! 

Then the question of how much, how less and what to give will not arise. You will not even know that you have given.      

Often, you withhold a part of you that prevents your expansion. Only in releasing, flowing and giving you will find the happiness you seek. Self-indulgence is the other way to live, but that can leave you feeling empty and lost. 

Me : The mind must be worked upon to come to this level.. 

Voice : It is easy actually. Look at it this way..When you die, will anything you have or accumulated matter after death ? 

Me : Nope

Voice : But after you die, what will matter greatly is what you have given to others. Thus giving has more value than having. Simple now ?

What you do for yourself will die with you. But what you do for others and the world will remain forever. 

Me : Brilliant !

Voice : Giving is integral in the path of love. 'Having' is the hurdle. How can you lose yourself when your attention remains on fulfilling your wants or what you have, instead of your attention on giving more? With God, there is nothing to gain but only lose. When you lose all, only then you will find what is Real.

Me : I want be able to give more !

Voice : But, fear will prevent you from loosening yourself...overcome it with My help. Begin giving in smallest ways everyday until you lose sight of what you have and giving beyond measure becomes your second nature. It is in selfless service that you gradually efface yourself making space for Divinity to manifest in you.    

Me : Hmm

Voice : Rather than thanking God everyday for what you have, find a reason everyday to thank Him for what you can give. Because being able to give is a great opportunity for you from God.   

Me : Wow

Voice : Our conversations are mere conversations, but when shared with others they becomes words of wisdom. It becomes valuable when not held to yourself. 

Remember, it is not what you earn, but what you give away, which is called accumulation of wealth. 

It may not be unwise to consider excess cash in your bank and multiple possessions after you die as opportunities in your life to give and make a difference.   

As you evolve, there will be a time when one will feel dishonour rather than pride, to have more than the other. 

Me : Woah

Voice : If you choose, My help will prepare you to be part of a new way of life ..... an era of the manifestation of Divine Love the world has never seen before.  

Me : Thank you

Voice : And you can start with not hiding those liquor chocolates in your wardrobe again. Let them be out and share them with your guests. 

Me : Damn! 

 

Voice : Give and give more and yet more. There is nothing to fear.

You already have Me, what worth is having anything else ?  

    

Just Feel Like It

Voice : So you just got up in the morning and changed your plans ?  

Me :  Yeah. 

Voice : Don't find that strange...with all your preparation and packing ? 

Me : Yeah it's strange, but with You I find this absolutely normal. 

Voice : Haha

Me : I was looking forward to this long distance run today...loaded up on my nutrition, assembled my trail running kit and I got really excited, but when I woke up today morning, I felt I shouldn't go, although I was feeling like a million bucks. I didn’t like to cancel the plan but I felt better doing it. No reason. Just felt like it. That's weird when you randomly drop something and you don't have a good reason for it ? 

Voice : How you feel deep inside is a good enough reason. A very good reason. 

Me : Hmm

Voice :  It's great to be governed by the inner voice instead of the noise. The noise is from the outside and the voice is from within. The noise are your plans, your surroundings, your external influences and the voice is just a feeling in your heart.  

    

Me : So was something going to happen to me today on the run ? 

Voice : It doesn't matter. You have managed to dodge something for yourself.  

Me : Thank you for watching over...

Voice : It is you who is watchful and responsive to what you feel every moment. This is the awakened living.    

Knowing, feeling and responding to how you feel internally develops the fine divine quality of surrenderance. The reason most people struggle with surrenderance is because they themselves come in their own way.

Me : It’s not easy to live with that level of surrenderance. 

Voice : That is why one needs to live in congruent with intuition. Surrenderance is very difficult for the one living with the intellect. Intuitive living enables effortless surrenderance. Intuition is a divine gift that you have.

Me : If we have that gift, why are we living any other way ? 

Voice : You have become a race where actions, words and thoughts emerge from external stimuli. The collective beliefs, thoughts and actions outside influence your judgement. Patterns of life follow previous patterns of existence. This makes you resistant to any change. You conjure up blueprints of the future so can always stay in control of what you actually cannot. This is nothing but quintessential mental existence which is bound to bring resistance and despair. 

And the natural outcome of this collective resistance is a dramatic world event that may be unpleasant to many. And the event that may appear tragic plays the part to nudge human consciousness towards inevitable transformation. 

If you lived guided with inner inspiration instead of external conformity, you would have created your life and your world that you truly want…..the same way you ended up taking a decision to cancel your plans today based on how you felt inwardly - even though it went against the grain of your conventional wisdom.    

Me : Hmm    

Voice : Transformation is nothing but a process of an energy shift. If you are not in tune with it, you will experience breakdowns. 

Me : Like tune-in with meditation ?

Voice : You don't need a meditation session to remain 'tuned-in'. You live it. By being aware, by being centered in your core, by the connection inside that is always alive. By breathing silence. By being awake to inner voice and asleep to the noise.  

Me : Hmm

Voice : You will view breakdowns as misfortune or catastrophe, but you must know that the breakdown manifested because you yourself were an impediment to the natural rhythm and flow of energy. It will always be hard to swim against the tide..the tide of energy shift. 

Harmony is in being in touch with your deepest feeling and this can happen when you live in the present moment.The only way you can have direction is harmonising yourself with the movement of Divine energy and flowing with it instead of against it. This is surrenderance…where you are not in pursuit of how things must be - but how it feels.

How many would trust the inner voice and drop a big trip just before leaving because something did not feel right ? How many would stand up to miss a social obligation because the heart wasn't ready ? 

Repeated use of the heart keeps you human. 

You alone have manifested your own suffering from self-created barriers of regimentation, old beliefs and barren routines. 

I want you to live by the heart, so you flow through this transformation with grace, higher wisdom and love. The enlightened ones do not try to survive an energy shift; they rise with it.     

 

Me : Wow

Voice  : Your world is nothing but patterns of ever-changing energy; this energy is so dynamic that what you feel this moment can change in the next. This is why, how you feel and your response to it becomes very important.  

You cannot have harmony if the energy is shifting rapidly and you are in the same space of thoughts and actions. This discord causes friction and imbalance.

Me : Even if one finds oneself not resonating with what the rest of the world believes? 

Voice : There are consequences to a life that is lived "because everyone is doing it', 'because everyone is saying it', 'because that's how it has been', 'because it is safer', because, because, because..." Remember, living by the heart is an act of courage.  

Me : This may sound simple but it’s very difficult for a man who has lived his entire life in established regimentation influenced by family, peers, neighbours, colleagues, teachers, media, priests, government..  

Voice : This is because he cannot understand what he cannot see. Ironically, it is the unseen that is real. What needs to be felt, does not need to be seen.  

 

Voice :  You just gave up your run because it didn't feel right. 

It's simple to understand that the amount of suffering that you see around directly measures with the distance of one's self with his own heart.      

Stay close to your own heart. unbounded. fearless. empty.

Me : True. Tell me, won't that make me 'random' ....like whimsical ? 

Voice : That will make two of us. Remember, My whim can give you enlightenment in an instant !  

Just Be

Voice : Have you tried to.. just be ? 

Me : Be who ? 

Voice : Just.....be. 

Me : Just be me ?? 

Voice : Just....be. 

Me : Oh..it's one of your deep intense...some profound things again I probably know nothing about ....  

Voice : Haha. We can talk about something else. 

Me : No, go ahead. I am curious.

Voice : Think of the time when you driving on the highway at night and cars keep passing by from the opposite direction. Don’t the headlights of the passing cars blind you ? 

Me : Yeah

Voice : Think about it. Here is when you are blinded by the light as much as the dark. 

Me : Deep.

Voice : When you think you are on a spiritual quest, you carry a very strong identification of what is good and what is bad. And much to your surprise, it's your quest for 'light' that keeps you away from from seeing real light.   

 

Your identification to light and dark keeps you blinded. Both belong to falseness. When you are beyond both, you will see real light. 

Me : But, without judgement of good and bad, how do I know I am on the spiritual path ?

 

Voice : When you think you are on the spiritual path, know that is the time you have gone off the path. There is no path. There is no distinction of good and bad. In effect, there is nowhere to go and nothing to do and no one to become.  

When real light appears, even what you regard now as light, will disappear.     

Me : Wow

Voice : Remember, one can get lost in the light as much as in the dark. When you realise this, you can truly...just be.

Waves

Voice : Had a nice time on the beach by yourself ? 

Me : Oh yes. It was great. I almost lost my new slippers..  

Voice : I got them back for you. 

Me : The waves brought 'em back!

Voice : But you know I am the Ocean, right ? 

Me : And if you want credit for everything..why do you 'take away' in the first place?   

Voice : Haha. You removed your footwear to walk in the water and you were having a great time and suddenly the waves extended on the shoreline taking your slippers along with it. But you stayed still and watched it go. You made no frantic attempt to chase it. In time, the waves brought back your slippers and to your surprise you had them back. 

Had you jumped into the water to grab and chase it, you would have only gotten into more trouble and perhaps even lost your slippers for good.  

  

Me : Point being.. ? 

Voice : There are moments in your life where you may feel you have lost out or lost something..that is a good time to pause and remember that in the Ocean of Love there are waves. Waves appear to give and take in it's natural momentum. It's when the waves seem to take, you can remind yourself that its just a natural momentum taking place.     

What is gone, only makes way for what is to come..but only if you are in harmony with that idea. 

Trust My waves to take or give whatever that is needed at that time for you. If you remain grounded like you just did, you will find that in time, it's an easier way to live. Fear or frantic action did not bring your slippers back. It is the peace inside you that draws to itself what you need.   

You have heard 'go with the flow'.. but what does that really mean ? 

Me : What ?  

Voice : It means that one finally understands that 'letting it go' and 'letting it come' have no difference in their meaning. 

Me : How is it the same ? 

Voice : You will feel things as 'taken away' when you are strongly attached to the idea that it's 'yours' in the first place. It is this belief that causes you pain.      

You feel you lose something or it has been unfortunately taken away from you by God or fate is nothing but your distance from the Truth. How can Love take ? It can't. Love can only give. There is no such thing as 'taking' by God for the one who lives with higher awareness, no matter how hopeless things seem.    

The seemingly apparent 'taking' is giving.. sowing of seeds for something bigger. But, this needs patience and trust in Divine timing. Because in time when things unfold, they unfailingly show you the higher merit of everything happening in your life.  

Me : Hmm

Voice : When the tide settles, you will clearly see where you stand on the shore and even the 'wanting' would have been washed away by the Ocean. That is why you gain by allowing time to play its part. 

Enjoy the sunset.

    

Me : Thank you. The setting sun looks so beautiful.  

Voice : You mean the rising of earth looks so beautiful...

Me : Haha. I am going in for a swim right now!  

Voice : Leave the swimming today and try floating in My Ocean, instead. Feel the joy of simply allowing My subtle currents to guide you.     

 

Listening ?

Me : I hope you are listening ? I want to talk to you right now..

Voice : Hahahahaha 

Me : What's so funny ? 

Voice : Because it is that funny.

Me : Alright, just tell me when you ready to listen and I can talk to you...

Voice : That is why it's so funny. When I am the One speaking through you - is it even possible for Me to NOT be listening to what I alone am speaking ?

Me : Hmmm 

Voice : That 'Hmmm' you just did in your head - I didn't miss that too. 

Me : I just wanted to make sure I have your attention...

Voice : If only you had an idea of how close I am to you, My dearest, you would know how much even your silence speaks to Me. 

 

My Faults

Me : With the faults that I see in myself, I am not sure if I am doing any spiritual progress at all. I have so many glaring weaknesses within me ..    

Voice : Thats arrogant.

Me : Now what's arrogant about this ?  

Voice : You tend to feel you are expressing humility by making that statement about your faults. In fact, it comes from arrogance and pride. Notice the ‘I' and ‘Me' in that statement. Only someone full of himself has a eye on his qualities.  

Me : Oh 

Voice : You highlight and notice your weaknesses and qualities only because you remember yourself more than God. Although, I can't notice any 'faults' in you.  

One who is absorbed in God is blissfully ignorant about his attributes. And, it's very likely he would be beyond judgement of others, too.

When you are attentive only on God, everything that you think would matter, just fades away in the background.   

Me : How do you always manage a contrarian view to everything I say ! 

Voice : ...The same way you manage a contrarian way of living since lifetimes.    

The Edge of Light

 

" The wind was blowing hard, 

I was standing on the edge 

Of the highest rock cliff there was,

Unmoved as the winds picked up pace.

 

This was the moment of truth, 

Separated only by fear

My heart was pounding, 

I could hear it speak.  

 Mind played with it's reasons,

But the heart remained undaunted 

I knew its not the dizzying heights, 

But myself that I must conquer. 

The storm was closing in,

Perhaps this was not the time

Here is where I can return to failure, 

And die another day.  

 Sometimes a jump to the other side, 

Is only a single decision away

I can choose the path of safety,  

But then, what will I live to be ? 

 

It is the end I will see,

For a new beginning to be.

Glimpse of God

Voice : You seemed dazed ? 

Me : The magic these mountains hold - what is it ? I was walking alone on the high ridge. And the clouds began it’s game of hide and seek with the setting sun. The colours in the sky were surreal. I felt I was walking on a bridge between heaven and earth. I could only think of You in the most natural and effortless way…..   

 

Voice : Hmm 

Me : I sat staring at the beauty and all of a sudden..I see only a bright expanse of whiteness. Like everything went - totally blank! For some moment in time I was seeing...nothing. I don’t even know how long it lasted. I remember feeling ecstatic. Maybe, I had passed out. 

Voice : You did not pass out. 

Me : I didn't ?

Voice : It wasn't a hallucination.  

Me : Then what happened ? 

Voice : You did not verbalise it, but you were longing from the depth of your heart to see Me. You wanted a glimpse of God in real form.

Me : But I didn’t see you.

Voice : Of course you saw Me - you saw Nothing. You thought you passed out but you were seeing Me.

Me : You ?? 

Voice : I am formless. How else can I appear in My real form to you ? You saw Everything that there is - in the magnificence of Nothing.   

Me : Oh My God  

Voice : Yes, that was God. It is not the sight, but the sensation that is Me.  

Me : No wonder I lost sense of time and I could not feel myself !!

Voice : On the contrary, you felt your Real Self, but not your body. 

Me : Yes!  

Voice : And you lost your sense of time because that was a moment in the Eternal Now, which is timeless. The ecstasy you felt for that moment was real but only to offer you a glimpse.

Me : Wow. I have held this thought to see You 'as You are' since a long time, but why did you choose this time to revel Your form to Me ? 

Voice : You chose this time. You were empty for Light to come in.   

Me : It's left me in a daze. Nothing seems to be worth my attention anymore, except You. I feel this world as a strange place to be.     

Voice : Bask in My Shadow as much as in My Light. Now, you know - that it's all nothing.

            

Prasad

Voice : You feeling a bit disappointed ? 

Me : A little bit.  

Voice : Because you didn’t get prasad at that temple ? 

Me : Yes. I had wished from my heart for your prasad and so its more upsetting to come empty handed. You never fail to the call of my heart. Wanting the prasad was only an excuse. 

But, perhaps it was meant to be. The temple was filled with too many people anyway. I understand it can get hard with so many people in one place. 

Voice : Do you remember removing your footwear outside the temple ? 

Me : Yes 

Voice : Where did you keep them ?  

Me : With an old lady who was sitting outside the entrance of the temple. She was unusual. She cleaned the dirt from the soles of my shoes and handed them over to me and she couldn’t stop smiling …she wasn’t even accepting money !

Voice : Shoes carry impressions of the person wearing them. You saw her just as an old lady. It wasn’t just the soles of your shoes, but your soul that was being given a loving hand by Me. This was My prasad to you. 

My Love itself is a prasad. My Love is the candy in physical form. And I won’t run out of candies..but it can change its form. Are you conscious enough to spot My prasad every day ? 

   

All things that try to hold me in lockets, keychains, photo frames, statues or candies will fall short for the one who looks deeper to only find that your life itself is God's greatest gift. 

God's ever-flowing Love is a prasad that never leaves any lover empty-handed. 

      

Become God

Me : First the pandemic, then Taliban fought to take over Afghanistan...now Russia is at war with Ukraine ! People around the world are suffering. These are testing times for humanity and we would see more... 

Voice : Hmm.. 

Me :  We have reached a critical point of imbalance in natural resources and destruction of our natural world. Our natural habitat is on the brink !

Voice : Hmm.. 

Me : We are dealing with unprecendetd challenge with mental health, sickness, violence..   

Voice : Hmm.. 

Me : The world seems to be in a chaos right now. And look at the plight of the people in Ukarine!  

Voice : Hmm.. 

Me : Please stop hmmm-ing to everything I say ! 

Voice : We can do OM ..

Me : Not funny

Voice : Okay. What do you want me to do ? 

Me : I am supposed to feel helpless - not you !

Voice : Not you either!

Me : But, I do feel so helpless. I desperately want to help..can I do something to change things ?

Voice : Yes you can 

Me : What  

Voice : Become one with God! 

Me : What about the strife and pain around ? 

Voice : Become one with God! 

Me : And let things just be messed up as they are ?

Voice : Become one with God! 

Me :  So I just sit around doing nothing to change the world ? 

Voice : Become one with God!

Me : Become one with God ! I get it, but how is it an answer to what I see and feel about the world ? 

Voice : What world ? The entire universe is inside you, not outside. Why dissipate all your energy in trying to ‘fix’ what doesn’t exist. Would you rather pay attention to the Ultimate Reality or its mere shadow ? You are your own reason for whatever you feel. 

When you become God, there remains nothing for you to ‘fix'. Become God - not helpless.