Voice : Can you see it ?
Me : What ?
Voice : Look closely..isn't the green colour on it absolutely beautiful ?
Me : On what ?
Voice : You need to focus and keep your vision steady. Stare closely and look straight ahead beyond that hill and you will see it. The light green clearly stands out from the other green you see..
Me : Alright ..I don't know what am I trying to spot !
Voice : I was trying to show you a tiny grasshopper on that blade of grass across the hills right ahead.
Me : That’s like atleast a few kilometres away ! And you expect me to spot a green grasshopper camoflagued on a blade of grass ???
Voice : No.
Me : Then why get me to spot it ?
Voice : To show you how your pride is camouflaged. Just like this.
You will never spot it, you won't see it, you won’t even acknowledge it. On the contrary, you will convince yourself you are without it. My vision reaches the deepest spots inside your being.
Me : Aaah....I have a lot of pride or maybe it's just a little ?
Voice : It becomes a 'lot' when you think you don't have any.
Can you unflinchingly take the onslaught of aspersions, criticism, insinuations, be mocked in a room full of people without really getting affected ? I doubt it.
In fact, would you remain unmoved by just a tiny harmless remark against you ?
Me : Hmm..
Voice : You are attached to your identity, image and care of what people think of you. You are disproportionately attentive to this than you are to God. Are you projecting yourself as being a nonchalant and humble man ?
A true lover of God with his longing and depth of love forgets His own being. True humility lies in this state of being.
There is so much of 'you' that is present.
Me : How do I work on this ?
Voice : Let’s shed the cloak of humility to begin with. Shed the misconception that you have about yourself…being simple, humble, pious, calm, devout..
By creating a surrounding of your liking you have only tried to create a 'safe space' for yourself. You can run but you can’t hide from your own self. There are conflicts within, huge bag of hollowness and a great deal of misconceptions about your own being.
You have sought distinction through the illusory escape of 'not of this world' title but you are just in it as anyone else.
With pride lurking inside you in quiet corners that you cannot see, you embark on every seeker's dreaded pitfall - hypocrisy.
Remember, the truly humble is a rare one. Rare one indeed.
Me : Can I change ?
Voice : What else am I here for ?
Recognise yourself as you really are. Not by being in the forefront but by being a shadow in the background.
Me : Meaning ?
Voice : To make yourself subservient to Me at every opportunity. That is how 'You’ lose prominence.
See Me in the other. Interact with Me in every person. Find God in the other. Then you will discover a new way of living - the truest way of being. Your judgements will cease, your need to be right will pass, forgiveness will be easy and you will find less meaning in dwelling in actions and words of other people. You will feel unity in the apparent divisibility.
This will bring you a grounded state of being. Humility is not attained with the mind or with a garb of 'holier than thou'.
Me : What about encountering idiots ?
Voice : They will expose your intolerant and arrogant side. They will do My work on you.
Me : Oh
Voice : When people hurt your pride, you get angry. But, neither expression nor suppression is going to teach you humility. But, unhesitatingly choosing forgiveness for your misgivings is a great way to begin.
Remember, it's not doing things with humility, but lacing your actions with love so that they become humbling.
Me : Pride, arrogance, anger, hypocrisy…after all these years and closeness to You, I am feeling of bit of a shame here.
Voice : It makes you human. Will you share our conversation ?
Me : Of course, why ask ?
Voice : Because you just thought of not doing it..
Me : You reading my head again.
You know, I don’t sound good in this conversation. I think this needs some edits and tweaking and ..
Voice : It needs humility..
